When the IEP Meeting Turns into the Spider-Man Meme

Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) came about in the 70’s as a tool for educational equality for students with disabilities. This tailored plan is meant to meet the unique academic needs of the learner, with specific educational goals agreed upon by the caregiver, general education teacher, special education teacher, local education agency representative, and an individual who can interpret evaluation results (additional members may be required depending on the needs of the learner). If you’ve counted them out loud, that equals five humans in one room expressing thoughts, opinions, and giving their own suggestions on the direction for the learner's educational plan. Give it any amount of time, and that IEP meeting will turn into the Spiderman meme above, teachers on one end, caregivers on the other, administrators/specialists somewhere in the middle, and fingers pointing everywhere. The most interesting thing about this phenomenon is that everyone has the same goal: how can they maximize the learner’s educational experience. So, where is the disconnect?

Llik (2019) found that parents feel that they are not involved in the IEP process and that they are not invited by the school/institution, while the same study found that teachers stated that they have problems getting the parents involved in the IEP process. How can it be that two key groups who spend most of their time with the learner and understand the learner in distinct but equally important ways, cannot get on the same page about a meeting? The instinctive response is to begin assigning blame, much like our Spiderman friends above, but the real issue runs deeper than the individual effort or intention. According to Gabutan et. al. (2025), teachers often feel unprepared due to inadequate training and support from administration, while parents express frustration over their lack of involvement and understanding of the IEP process. This is not the case for all, but it turns out to be the case for many educators and caregivers who walk into these meetings having never been taught what an IEP meeting is meant to accomplish, overwhelmed by formal jargon, and unsure about how to participate meaningfully. Resulting in individuals going back to their homes and classrooms, pointing fingers, and operating out of frustration and guesswork. This lack of understanding and communication ultimately undermines the effectiveness of IEPs, resulting in inadequate support for students who need tailored educational interventions (Alharbi & Iqtadar, 2024). 

If you go back and ask any one of those 5 individuals at that table (the caregiver, general education teacher, special education teacher, local education agency representative, and an individual who can interpret evaluation results), “who is at fault when an IEP falls short?”, they might instinctively point to the human sitting across the table. What often goes unconsidered is that the issue may not be the human across from you but the system itself. The human you pointed at was likely not properly trained, may have only been notified of the meeting the day before, and may have received the IEP document with little to no time to review it. At the same time, they are also probably thinking, “They never taught us how this process is supposed to work.” 

While a complete overhaul of the IEP process is beyond the scope of any one individual, meaningful change does not require us to reinvent the wheel. When it is understood that the challenges are systemic rather than centered around individual effort or intent, we can redirect energy away from blame and focus on preparation, clarity, and collaboration. It will also allow educators and caregivers to see that they often share the same frustrations, uncertainties, and goals, even when it might not have felt that way while sitting across the table during that first IEP meeting.  

 How can we shift our focus: 

• Periodically offer educational IEP workshops for educators and caregivers  

  • What is an IEP, and what does it mean to accomplish 

  • Who attends an IEP and why 

  • What happens in an IEP

  • What is your Role in an IEP

  • What documents will you see in an IEP

  • What are your legal rights as caregivers during IEP’s

• Use accessible, plain language during meetings: Be sure that the language used during the meeting is not filled with professional jargon and adjust to match the understanding of all parties involved (including the caregiver).

• Provide documentation in a language legible by all parties: Ensure that the verbal information and written documentation are delivered in a language that all parties can understand (including the caregiver).

• Share the IEP document in advance: Provide all parties with ample time to review the information by providing the IEP draft before the scheduled meeting.

• Create a quick IEP guide for all parties to reference: create a quick guide that outlines the process, expectations, and common terminology in one place. 

References:

Alharbi, H., & Iqtadar, S. (2024). ‘I never feel like I am prepared enough’: Teachers’ self‐efficacy, challenges and experiences teaching students with disabilities. Journal of Research in Special Educational Needs, 24(3), 758–770. https://doi.org/10.1111/1471-3802.12666

Gabutan, M. Z., Pinili, L. C., Rosal, R. R., & Padillo, G. G. (2025). Teachers’ and Parents' Perspectives on the Effectiveness and Importance of Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) on Student Learning Outcomes. International Journal of English Literature and Social Sciences, 10(4), 621304.

Ilik, S. S., & Er, R. K. (2019). Evaluating parent participation in individualized education programs by opinions of parents and teachers. Journal of Education and Training Studies, 7(2), 76-83.

Debbie Castoreno, Miren Behavior, Senior Behavior Specialist